This is the first in the series Wherever on the River is Merf

If you're through Saint Lou on vacation
Very few Merferds will be found, 
Missouri Department of transportation
Have taken all that they've found down.


They called them a distraction
For people traveling in a car.
What of butt ugly billboards,
Monstrous hunks of junk,
That trash up the horizon?!
Merf is in a FUNK!


The Merferds in that Cottonwood 
While they lasted looked so good. 
People were encouraged near and far.


I lifted Merferds up with me,
Trimmed massive deadwood off that tree,
Before the Merferds had appeared,
A huge dead limb smashed someone's car.


Sooo Mo DOT, it's gotten HOT
He needs to move on anyways,
Beyond the beach, out of your reach,
Above Missouri's river-ways!


In this inauguration of Merferd's new migration,
He'll be easy to be find but not to STEEL.
Like a BASS who knows the water
Thrown back too many times,
This once he won't be COURTeous...
Above the river, out of reach 
By the bridges, by a beach 
Sometimes tall and sometimes short
Sometimes near a raft RESORT.


So now my drive will be boring,
No Merferds waving high and swaying.
But I still will praise and PRAY,
And make up riddles as I drive,
MISSOURI... MERF is here to stay.